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So, Sarah's mum sent her these, and I'm not sure how much I agree with 'em, so I'm going to go through and give my take on them. Keep an mind I'm a little weird, so don't be too thrown off if my responses don't match.
"The Man Rules"
These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. okay, this one is true, but I understand women aren't either. Still, if you don't say anything, don't expect us to.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. this is just bitching for bitching's sake. You're a big boy now, put up the fucking seat. Besides, the codes of being a gentleman dictate you cater to the woman's needs.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. i don't watch sports, so this is just a moo point. I don't give a damn.
1. Crying is blackmail. i wouldn't call crying "blackmail," per se, but it does go a long way with me. I hate knowing I made woman cry, and I usually do anything to stop it, so it's more a guilt thing for me.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! this is true to a point, but there is something to be said for reading between the lines. Not everything said is right out there. Give the extra effort you lazy ass.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. yes, but sometimes it's obvious to even a deaf person that more is required; if so expound on it.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. this is total bullshit. Sympathy is what the person you love is for, plain and simple.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days. again, bullshit. That's just not taking any responsibility for anything. Guys like this give other guys bad names.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. depends. This is that catch-22. If you're in an honest relationship, maybe say something, but delicately.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE. laziness again. Say what you mean.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. again, true to point. Either ask or tell, or help us while we're doing whatever, just don't complain about it afterwards
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. nope, not true.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. what, is this based on total macho, not use brain at all guys?
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. but it is possible to learn. I hate things like this where guys are painted so stereotypcially
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. well...more or less, though we'll try not to do it public
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. not entirely true. Men who are actually paying attention will notice the difference. I try to be one of these.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. this is sort of true.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. haha, more or less, though more skin (as long as it is for one guy's (namely whomever your dating) benefits) won't get a whole lot of complaining on the time it takes
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports uh...no. I don't think about any of these with anything even bordering on regularity. If you're going to talk to me, it's going to be about lit, film or tv
1. You have enough clothes. sure, but if you enjoy it, go nuts.
1. You have too many shoes. depends. I don't really care. See above.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! if I get out of shape, I want my woman to tell me (gently, though). I want to be appealing to her, so if that means working out, so be it.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. please, any jackass who would rather sleep on the couch than with the woman he loves should be on the streets.
So, that's my take. Girls, feel free to flame me if you want. That's just how I feel.
"The Man Rules"
These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. okay, this one is true, but I understand women aren't either. Still, if you don't say anything, don't expect us to.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. this is just bitching for bitching's sake. You're a big boy now, put up the fucking seat. Besides, the codes of being a gentleman dictate you cater to the woman's needs.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. i don't watch sports, so this is just a moo point. I don't give a damn.
1. Crying is blackmail. i wouldn't call crying "blackmail," per se, but it does go a long way with me. I hate knowing I made woman cry, and I usually do anything to stop it, so it's more a guilt thing for me.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! this is true to a point, but there is something to be said for reading between the lines. Not everything said is right out there. Give the extra effort you lazy ass.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. yes, but sometimes it's obvious to even a deaf person that more is required; if so expound on it.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. this is total bullshit. Sympathy is what the person you love is for, plain and simple.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days. again, bullshit. That's just not taking any responsibility for anything. Guys like this give other guys bad names.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. depends. This is that catch-22. If you're in an honest relationship, maybe say something, but delicately.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE. laziness again. Say what you mean.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. again, true to point. Either ask or tell, or help us while we're doing whatever, just don't complain about it afterwards
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. nope, not true.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. what, is this based on total macho, not use brain at all guys?
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. but it is possible to learn. I hate things like this where guys are painted so stereotypcially
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. well...more or less, though we'll try not to do it public
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. not entirely true. Men who are actually paying attention will notice the difference. I try to be one of these.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. this is sort of true.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. haha, more or less, though more skin (as long as it is for one guy's (namely whomever your dating) benefits) won't get a whole lot of complaining on the time it takes
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports uh...no. I don't think about any of these with anything even bordering on regularity. If you're going to talk to me, it's going to be about lit, film or tv
1. You have enough clothes. sure, but if you enjoy it, go nuts.
1. You have too many shoes. depends. I don't really care. See above.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! if I get out of shape, I want my woman to tell me (gently, though). I want to be appealing to her, so if that means working out, so be it.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. please, any jackass who would rather sleep on the couch than with the woman he loves should be on the streets.
So, that's my take. Girls, feel free to flame me if you want. That's just how I feel.
insulted4 comments | What Say You?